Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
