What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
