Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
