I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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