All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize