i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
