think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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