i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
