woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
