Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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