no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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