Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
