Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
