She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize