did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize