And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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