I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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