we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
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You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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