I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
