Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
