there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
