His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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