I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
