Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
