I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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