Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
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hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
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Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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