Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
