i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
