I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize