My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
