Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low

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(845): i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low http://tfl.nu/h0oa

Replies (7) Good night (777) Bad night (1274)
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(630): View more from Illinois

i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...

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(630): i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college... http://tfl.nu/0xsv

Replies (33) Good night (3195) Bad night (906)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.

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(856): its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer. (978): college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you. http://tfl.nu/udtk

Replies (45) Good night (4663) Bad night (1196)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'

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(910): it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!' http://tfl.nu/7tsr

Replies (24) Good night (10817) Bad night (938)
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(904): View more from Florida

she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"

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(904): she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs" http://tfl.nu/4385

Replies (12) Good night (1227) Bad night (4622)
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(765): View more from Indiana

4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.

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(765): 4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84. http://tfl.nu/2w31

Replies (35) Good night (5746) Bad night (732)
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(618): View more from Illinois

i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.

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(618): i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today. http://tfl.nu/48rk

Replies (6) Good night (5032) Bad night (1118)
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(518): View more from New York

med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.

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(518): med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV. http://tfl.nu/e3eb

Replies (14) Good night (1689) Bad night (5307)
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(845): View more from New York

I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary

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(845): I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary http://tfl.nu/j2zc

Replies (9) Good night (2432) Bad night (1012)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack

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(217): I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack http://tfl.nu/dmpk

Replies (6) Good night (1013) Bad night (2438)
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(949): View more from California

Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.

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(949): Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame. http://tfl.nu/sj6o

Replies (2) Good night (1277) Bad night (549)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them

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(608): just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them http://tfl.nu/tyvr

Replies (4) Good night (854) Bad night (472)
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(914): View more from New York

bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house

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(914): bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house http://tfl.nu/ryv7

Replies (5) Good night (497) Bad night (877)
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(512): View more from Texas

He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.

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(512): He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came. http://tfl.nu/h4s8

Replies (5) Good night (1643) Bad night (482)
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(907): View more from Alaska

That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece

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(907): That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece http://tfl.nu/9o1k

Replies (1) Good night (545) Bad night (388)

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