I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.