It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
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My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just had sex on a roof
I am never drinking with the goths again.