Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.

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  (508): Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/jn2c
  Replies (12) Good night (766) Bad night (4030)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  so... thinking about masturbating finally

  (661): View more from California

  taking the losers way out I see

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  (818): so... thinking about masturbating finally (661): taking the losers way out I see http://tfl.nu/lnxg
  Replies (14) Good night (623) Bad night (2767)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  clearly you are not from wisconsin

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  (763): dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve (608): clearly you are not from wisconsin http://tfl.nu/j6wr
  Replies (104) Good night (7729) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.

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  (817): No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever. http://tfl.nu/v4fg
  Replies (13) Good night (5597) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.

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  (781): picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already. http://tfl.nu/ugv0
  Replies (7) Good night (3788) Bad night (737)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired

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  (314): The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired http://tfl.nu/0mk4
  Replies (12) Good night (4407) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...

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  (207): It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester... http://tfl.nu/gus9
  Replies (4) Good night (2706) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?

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  (814): Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me? http://tfl.nu/l0ft
  Replies (4) Good night (2490) Bad night (1413)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.

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  (773): NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU. http://tfl.nu/h1az
  Replies (10) Good night (2286) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.

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  (516): its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/1ovr
  Replies (5) Good night (904) Bad night (1310)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.

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  (908): I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background. http://tfl.nu/p2h3
  Replies (3) Good night (1047) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend

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  (250): We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend http://tfl.nu/c0is
  Replies (4) Good night (702) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Breakfast of champions

  (206): View more from Washington

  Is that a dick crepe?

  (425): View more from Washington

  It is indeed

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  (425): Breakfast of champions (206): Is that a dick crepe? (425): It is indeed http://tfl.nu/tzit
  Replies (4) Good night (904) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up

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  (651): I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up http://tfl.nu/jq4y
  Replies (5) Good night (358) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  You're about wine.

  (585): View more from New York

  Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment

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  (716): You're about wine. (585): Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment http://tfl.nu/179v
  Replies (0) Good night (491) Bad night (174)

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