so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.