i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
