Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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