i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
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