I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
