Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
