And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize
