Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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