i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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