I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
