You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He kissed a someone with a penis
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
