My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
