Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
