Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
