i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
