ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
