so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
