peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We were destined to go to rehab together
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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