I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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