Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
i now understand why vodka
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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