i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
