You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
