I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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