That's when you crack a 10am beer
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
