It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
