I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
