She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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