are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
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i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
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Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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