hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize