hotel room ftw
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Dicks are not precious.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
