i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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