i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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