Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
