i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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