Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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