I just saw a hot homeless man
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
someone get that fucking seahorse.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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