I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
