This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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