I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
