He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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